clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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