Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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