The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
