Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you never un-have a 4some
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