is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
