somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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