But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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