When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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