I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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