we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
