I want to make a zoo with you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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