I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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