Me. At least after what I've been through.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
