so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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