I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize