So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
