I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
