Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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