Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
