this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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