When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
