You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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