I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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