My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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