Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
