I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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