she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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