I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
