Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
