I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
