So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
