I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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