Dual....:-)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I deserve this hangover.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
