Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
