The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
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