I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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