He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
