Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
