clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
