dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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