would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
