im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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