Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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