Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
