he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
