if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
