I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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