You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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