whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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