If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
