it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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