Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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