They should really pass out barf bags in church
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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