dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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