I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
