I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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