Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize