And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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