there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're like the curious george of whores
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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