how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
