I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Buhtt sex?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
