Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am mentally ready for anal.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
