I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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