69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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