Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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(805): View more from California

why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

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(661): View more from California

I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME

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