Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
