Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
