I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
