Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
