don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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