does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
