the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
