Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
