doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she peed on how many people?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
