I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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